I have lots of pain pills because of my back, and I am pretty good about not taking them, as I am terrified of addiction and those complications. But, yesterday and last night was back pain. I decided to take a demerol as I went to bed. The one thing I have found is it does not make me sleepy, actually I find it hard to sleep on demerol, but the awake dreams are creepy.
First of all, I have a sinus infection, so my ears are slightly blocked, so I am not sure if that affected my dreams and sleeping patterns.
I heard roaring noises all night, almost as if jets were over my house all night. I dreamt about a apartment I moved into. It was amazing. It was almost exactly one of the apartments mdaniel looked at, not the one he picked (if you read this Matthew it was the Post Stratford one). Huge room, with a fireplace, old finished wood floors, massive kitchen, and all my records fitted in! It was a fantastic feeling, to have all my records sorted and in one place, lined up on shelves. Then the dining room was all dark wood and purple lights and curtains. I don’t remember the bedroom, but I remember the closet, all organized and my clothes neatly lined up, and enough room for them and my shoes.
It was such a real dream, as I had seen this apartment and falling in love with it – though not its price. I could feel myself living there and having people over, cooking and watching the fire. I am not sure if the demerol made things more vivid or that is just me. The demoral did make me jumpy though, hmm or that is just me. You can feel the pain on demerol, but it does not hurt, it is odd. I could feel my back and be aware of the pain being inside me, but it did not debilitate me. Better than percocet, which I can’t feel much and am floating the whole time.
The new year and its challenges. I liked last year, it felt like I was getting my life back together. So I want more of that this year.
- I slacked off on learning, so I need to start again.
- I would like to get more orgainized and start cleaning up, so moving should not be so scary.
- I would like to lose 15 pounds or even 20, but no gym really hurts that.
- I would like to be more social.
- I would like to write more.
That is it so far. A real list soon.